Forgiveness is one of the most challenging things we are asked to do as Christians.
Discussion
- How do you define forgiveness?
- Does it have to mean forgetfulness as well?
- Is there a danger in this?
Read Matthew 18:21-22. When Peter asks if forgiving someone seven times is enough, Jesus responds by saying no, it’s 77 times—in other words, as many times as the offender needs. In this way, forgiveness is a lifestyle: one in which we are called upon constantly to let go of corrosive bitterness.
Discussion
Sometimes it’s easier to forgive than others. We can perhaps forgive people who genuinely seem to be trying to do right, or who didn’t intend to hurt us. Some of us may have friends or relatives with addictions, and we know that they are not entirely in control of their actions. But what do we do when forgiveness seems like giving a free pass to someone to continue hurting us without changing his ways?
It’s notable that the passage right before Jesus’ discussion with Matthew is about accountability.
Read Matthew 18: 15-17. In this passage, Jesus calls for confrontation of those who have hurt us: confrontation as an individual, and if necessary, corporate confrontation. When there is no repentance or changing of behavior, the offender can even be exiled from the community.
Forgiveness does not mean that we cannot insist on accountability for those who have committed wrongs, or that we cannot continue to advocate for justice, both for ourselves and for others. Perhaps a helpful passage to keep in mind here is Luke 18:1-8.
Discussion
- Read Luke 18:1-8.
- What traits do we see in the widow?
- What does Jesus say about her persistence and advocacy?
In this passage, the judge relents not because he is moved by the widow’s plight but because he is worn down by her persistence. We have permission to continue to insist on justice and to wear down the power structures that resist it.
Discussion
- What is the relationship between forgiveness and accountability?
- What is the appropriate response to forgiveness?
- How might restitution be a part of that?
Forgiveness is a term that has sometimes been cheapened by how casually it has been used to cover up sins and act as though they never happened or require no redress. People are sometimes understandably suspicious, then, when they are entreated to forgive, afraid it may mean being asked to embrace a sort of historical amnesia. In truth, forgiveness does not minimize the transgression: rather, it is the only response that recognizes the immutability and irreversibility of the act. An eye for an eye would suggest that once punishment is dealt, justice has been done, which in turn presumes that a price can be put on human suffering and it can be made right. Forgiveness, strangely enough, seems to recognize that transgressions can never fully be made right and appropriate, because the evil act simply cannot be reversed. Far from minimizing what has happened, it is a model that takes it very seriously indeed. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we must go on as if nothing had happened; it understands with utmost gravity that something has happened that cannot be undone, and therefore can only be forgiven.